The Sinking Tide
by AmberHerondale
Summary: Post CoLS. Malec. Alec can't seem to deal after the breakup, and resorts to cutting himself. Jace, Magnus, and others find out, all hell breaks loose. A bit overdone, but always fun. Co-authored with emcfal6406.
1. Chapter 1

**In case you somehow missed the summary, this story is half done by emcfal6406 **

**Disclaimer: We own nothing. That's probably a good thing, considering what we do is make a character cut himself and all…**

Alec slammed his door and leaned back against it, breathing hard. His blood was coursing through his veins, he felt as if he'd run miles or fought an especially challenging demon. He knew he must be overreacting, nothing unusual had happened. He'd just been downstairs, hanging out with Izzy, Jace, Clary, and that vampire guy, Simon, attempting to feel normal again. Nothing had been the same since Magnus; it was as if the happiness was sucked out of Alec's world when he lost the man he loved. Jace and Isabelle had tried to convince him he'd move on, but he knew they weren't sure he would.

He was sure he wouldn't.

Anyway, they'd all been just sitting in the library, having warm wintery snacks, when it started. It was nothing, not at first. Clary had spilled some hot chocolate on her hand, and Jace had kissed it, mocking what Simon had done so long ago back at Magnus'. Which of course only got Alec thinking of his ex. That wasn't what bothered him, though, it was the aftermath. Jace pulled Clary onto his lap, and they were laughing together. He had kissed her lightly on the cheek, such a simple sign of love that it broke Alec's heart all over again. He had mumbled an excuse and ran back up to the safety of his room, ignoring the worried look his sister gave him.

He sank slowly to the ground now, his back still to his door. He lowered his head onto his knees, yanking them up against his chest. A tear slowly dropped from his eyes, which Alec angrily pushed away. He knew he had no right to be crying. He was the sole person to blame for this, and he knew it. He had tried, or at least thought about, shortening his love's life. Basically, he had almost killed Magnus on purpose. He deserved everything he got.

He deserved worse. He deserved hell for what he'd done.

Head still bowed onto his chest, Alec rose from his crouched position. He moved to the bathroom slowly, despite every sane brain cell he had left yelling for him to stop. Stopping wasn't possible for Alec, though, not anymore.

He had tried to get over it, for Magnus' sake if not his own. He knew he had a problem, and he had shoved away all his feelings of guilt, especially for what had happened to Max. It was Alec's fault, for he had left his little siblings alone with a psycho murderer. The man had hurt Izzy, and killed Max, because Alec had given him a way. Everyone had said it wasn't his fault, that the blame lay with Sebastian/Jonathan alone, but he knew they were either purposely naïve or just lying through their teeth.

Alec had shoved away that guilt, because he didn't want to know what Magnus would say if he brought it up. _Oh, Magnus, by the way…I'm in depression. Just thought you should know…_No one knew, though. He wasn't even 100% sure he had clinical depression, but he fit all the signs. He probably did, that was his luck.

_No, _Alec told himself sternly. _It wasn't luck that did this, it was _you. _You and you alone. _Well, and possibly Camille. But whatever.

Alec turned the doorknob slowly. He walked in, staring at the checkered tiles. They were black and white, the contrast seeming odd to Alec. He didn't know why, it had never occurred to him before. It was a very random thought.

He locked the door behind him, knowing all hell would break loose if someone found him. Izzy, or Jace, they would freak out. Especially Jace. He would probably go find Magnus and scream at him. Alec was sure Jace knew as well as he did that Alec was the one to blame, but he supposed Jace enjoyed blaming someone who he wasn't connected to by heavenly power.

Alec reached down into his pocket, pulling out his old pocket knife. He had done this three times before, twice in the last week. Once when he was about newly seventeen, when Jace had come home after newly losing his virginity. He had regretted it afterwards, the next day it hurt like shit when he had to do his training. Not that anyone noticed, he had kept it hidden.

There was no regret now.

He sliced swiftly down his upper right wrist. He sighed in pleasure as he felt the blood stream and the pain it brought. Pain was good. When he was in pain, he focused on that instead of Magnus-

No. No, he couldn't think of him anymore. Not of the sparkly man who'd brightened Alec's world so much, both literally and physically. Not of-

Alec cut his left arm now, and all thought of his love vanished with the growing throb.

Jace woke up the next day smiling. He and Clary had just had fun the last night, no insane complications such as Jace being possessed, and y'know. That type of normal couple issues.

No, really, it had just been simply fun last night. They hadn't really done anything to serious so the whole he's-literally-on-fire-and-will-burn-her problem hadn't come up.

The only imperfect thing had been Alec. Jace's grin vanished at the thought of his parabatai. He knew Alec's world was filled with pain right now, and there was nothing Jace could do. He'd wanted to go give Magnus a piece of his mind, but Alec had held him back, saying it was all his fault. Jace didn't believe that for a second, but he hadn't gone to bitch on Magnus, because he knew it wouldn't help Alec.

Alec hadn't recovered as time went on. Normally, after breakups, Jace would have a new girlfriend a week later. The only exception would be Clary; if they ended Jace knew he would be done.

Jace had thought that Magnus was Alec's Clary, or something like that. But Magnus had broken up with Alec for something Alec _hadn't done._ And, yeah, it was a pretty messed up thing to think of doing. But this was Alec. There was no way he'd actually do something like that.

If he was Magnus, he'd probably be pissed at Alec. Pissed, though, was different from breakup mode. If Magnus had truly loved Alec, he would have forgiven him eventually. In Jace's world, love meant forgiveness. But no, Magnus had to go and screw up his brother. Jace's brother, not Magnus'… that'd just be weird.

Jace sighed, pulling himself out of bed. Worrying about Alec wouldn't actually help unless he had an idea of what to do. And currently, he didn't.

Jace changed out of his pajamas into a grey t-shirt and jeans. He headed down the stairs, loudly stomping his feet. It was like eight in the morning, time to rise and shine. He was grabbing some Cheerios when Alec came down, rubbing his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept a wink, he had bags around his eyes.

Jace frowned at his brother, but didn't comment on his appearance. He just threw the cereal at him, saying "Here, have some Cheerios."

Alec just stood there, and the box hit him in the chest. It hit the ground with a _thud_, and he gave a very Alec-like scowl. He reached down and slammed it on the table.

"Wow…" Jace drawled slowly. "Maybe you had better join me in training this morning, brother."

Alec plopped down in the chair next to Jace, saying "I might. I don't really have anything to do, anyway."

"Cool," Jace nodded, pouring the milk into his bowl. "You want to do some wrestling?"

Alec shrugged. "Sure, I don't care. Whatever you want."

_Dammit, _Jace thought. _Not caring is bad. Why doesn't he, anyway? It's not like workout makes him think of Magnus._

Jace swallowed and ate some cereal. Cereal helped pretty much everything, that was one of Jace's main philosophies.

An hour later, the parabatai were in the training room floor, wrestling. Jace slammed Alec to the ground, pinning down his arms. "Ha!" Jace said in triumph. "Suck that, loser!"

Alec rolled his eyes in that superior way of his, trying to get out from under Jace. Jace noticed something though, because Alec's sleeves had been shoved up when Jace pinned him.

"What," Jace said slowly, "the hell have you done, Alec Lightwood."

Confusion darted across Alec's face before he glanced down at his lower arms. "Oh," he said quietly. "That."

"Damn straight, 'that.'" Jace said furiously, yanking Alec up into a standing position. He stumbled, but Jace held the front of his shirt, not letting him fall. "Why would you do that?"

Alec dipped his head. "I- I'm sorry, Jace. I just…" his voice trailed off, sounding so pathetic that any anger Jace was feeling to his brother vanished.

Jace sighed, his shoulder drooping. He let go of Alec, but he motioned for the boy to follow him. "C'mon," he said, walking to his room. Alec followed wordlessly, still looking at his feet. He did that a lot since the breakup, Jace noticed.

Jace pushed his door open, plopping on the bed. "Sit," He ordered. Alec did. "Now explain. When did this start? How many times have you cut yourself?"

Alec sighed, raking his fingers back through his hair. "I've done it three times in the last week. Once before, but I stopped after that once."

"Why were you doing it before?" Jace asked, curious despite himself.

Alec sighed once again. "It was back when I had a crush on you. After you had sex with that girl."

Jace's mouth dropped open. He had told Alec at the time because he had to tell _someone_, and Alec was there. It wasn't anything; he just thought his brother would find it entertaining. He never thought it would hurt Alec at all, never mind that bad. "I never thought…" he said.

Alec shrugged. "It wasn't your fault."

An awkward silent fell upon them. Jace cleared his throat. "So this is all about Magnus?"

"I- sorta. I think I have depression- so it's not just him. Also, Max," he took a deep breathe, "That guilt won't leave me alone. So it wasn't just him, that was just what pushed me over the edge."

Jace nodded like he agreed, but he was thinking along the line of, _that bastard. I'm going to make him pay for this._

Magnus was lying on his couch, trying not to look at anything blue. If he saw something blue, than he snapped his fingers. Then it was red, or gold, or something not at all like Alec's eyes.

It was then his phone rang. He pulled it out, scowling at the blue and green jewels. He changed them to gold and green, like his eyes. Not Alec's. He checked the Caller ID, dammit. It was Jace, probably calling to yell at him for breaking his brother's heart.

Sighing, he clicked _Accept Call. _"If you're going to call me names over Alexander, make it quick, Shadowhunter."

"Damn straight I'll make it quick." He snapped. Magnus raised an eyebrow. It had been a week, if Jace was this mad he should have called by now.

"Go ahead, darling," he said, flipping open a copy of _Glamour. _"Get it all out."

Jace's voice turned as warm as sarcastic honey. _Does that exist?_ Magnus wondered. "Alec is cutting himself, _'darling.' _Because _you_ broke up with him."

His magazine dropped out of his hands. "He's _what_?" Magnus croaked. "That idiot!"

"I actually agree with you on that, Bane. But he did. Over you."

He groaned loudly. "I'm coming over there."

"You're not fucking welcome, Bane. I'd think you'd know that by now; you caused this shit my brother's going through."

"Well, I'm coming. I need to talk to him." Magnus disconnected the call. _I have no idea what I just got myself into, _he thought. All he knew is that Alec is being an idiot, and he needs help. And despite what he said before, when they were breaking up, if Alec needs help, he will always give it to him.

_Because I will always love him, _Magnus Bane thinks

He's part way out of his apartment when he turns back. Taking a long look at the home, he snaps his fingers once.

And it's blue again.

**~Amber and Emma, Emma and Amber**


	2. Chapter 2

**OMG, that was amazing. We published it one night and the next morning there were THREE** **NEW REVEIWS! I might have to hug you darlings. Maybe even stroke you obsessively….NOPE. Moving on to the story…**

**Disclaimer: We own zip. But if we did….oh, the things that would happen. It would be highly dramatic…**

Jace put his head in his hands and groaned. Unfortunately, Magnus had decided to come over to talk to Alec. _Like we needed any more problems_, Jace thought to himself. Usually, he wouldn't be concerned… but now…..things had changed. Throwing on a new sexy, basically see through tank top and jeans, Jace walked down the hallway to Izzy's room only to find the door shut. Which either meant she was sleeping or changing.

"Izzy, can I come in?" Jace asked simply out of fake courtesy, either way he was going in. But he waited politely.

Izzy groaned and grumbled. She was changing her clothes again.

Jace waited about a minute, and then burst through the door. He still had a slight smile on his face from the thought of Isabelle naked…

"What's so funny?" Isabelle asked concerned.

"It's not important now," Jace said, working hard to put away his malicious grin. "But we have some serious work to do with Alec. He's taken it one step too far this time."

"Uh-oh," Isabelle said rather concerned. "He hasn't really been the same since…." Izzy trailed off her sentence at the thought of his breakup.

"Yup. But now he's so depressed because Magnus, he's cut himself twice in the last week," Jace replied with a strange look on his face, mischievous, because he had a plan, but also….broken. "And I made a rather angry and biased phone call to Magnus, who has worked up the nerve to come over."

Now Izzy was just pissed. The dating rules clearly stated that as a no-no, and he wanted to break that rule. Alec had just cut himself because of the warlock, so the warlock wants to give Alec more reasons to do self-damage. Magnus broke Alec's heart once, and she wasn't about to stand around and let it happen again.

"So, what's the plan?" Izzy asked, dead focused.

"Operation Desparkling Alec," Jace replied, completely serious….well, almost completely serious. "the problem is that if Alec sees Magnus, he's broken. But Magnus wouldn't expect him to be at the Pandemonium club this evening."

One look in Jace's eye gave Izzy all she needed to know.

Alec sat blankly in the library. It was the one place he felt closest to his family and farthest from Magnus. He had thrown out all he could find of Magnus', but his room reeked with now painful memories.

Alec zoned out thinking of the night in his bedroom….

_Magnus held Alec and kissed him, lightly at first, but then stronger. Alec purred and giggled with each kiss, more pressing than the one before. The room smelled like Magnus, hazelnut and pine. Alec had missed that smell. It had been a hard week without it. But now he had it again._

_Magnus pulled them towards the bed, closer and closer. Alec didn't want to stop, but he wasn't ready to fulfill Magnus' wishes. Did Magnus mean to…..yes. Yes, he most certainly did. But as they got closer, Alec moaned. He wanted it, he knew he did. Magnus broke the magical kiss for a moment and looked at Alec, questioning if he wanted to move forward. Alec knew at that moment, that there would never be anyone as perfect for him as Magnus, never anyone he could trust undoubtedly as his sparkly warlock. So Alec pulled Magnus in the bed and began to unbutton his shirt…._

Alec nearly fell off his leather chair in the library while cherishing the memory. But then it was over and only created pain. No one would ever replace Magnus, but no one would need to if he could have a second chance. All he needed was a minute with Magnus, and just maybe….Alec would do anything to get that minute.

Jace strutted down the hallway towards the library with Isabelle. It was the only other possible place that Alec could be. They had checked literally every other possibility in the Institute. It was time to activate phase one of Operation Desparkling Alec.

When they reached the doorway, Alec was getting out of his chair that he always sat in. Jace saw his red face, and knew Alec at one point had cried, which is exactly why it was Jace to the rescue!

"Alec, we're going to the Pandemonium Club. Want to come?" Izzy asked shifting from foot to foot nervously.

"No, thanks. I'm not in the-"Alec was cut off by Jace before he could finish his sentence.

"Alexander Lightwood, what else would you do?" Jace paused as if to hear a response. "Cut yourself again?! Just what I thought, nothing. Absolutely nothing. So it's settled. You're coming. Now let's go before it gets dark."

When it was obvious Alec had nothing to say to that, the trio gathered their leather coats (Iz's was quite fashionable), and left the Institute.

While hustling through the streets, Alec didn't even attempt to put on his cheerful face. They were rushing to the Pandemonium Club much faster than he was used to. Usually, Jace held them up because he addictively was looking at girls. He liked to get them before they got to the club because at the club, lots of people went with their boyfriends, and it took an extra five minutes of Jace talking till they were ready to let him stick his tongue down their throats. But today, Jace acted like nothing mattered but reaching their destination.

Within the next few minutes, Alec saw the entrance. But Jace wasn't the only one with tricks up his sleeve. To Alec, it seemed like this was all to make him happy. So, he put on his happy smile and walked in.

Magnus had spent little time getting in his full make up attire. He had spent most of the time pondering how to help Alec. He didn't want to make it sound like he wanted to date again, because Alec would get his hopes up. Eventually, he figured all hell broke loose wherever he was so it was best to prepare himself for everything.

Upon reaching the Institute, Magnus knocked three times, and the door did not open. Magnus knew Jace was probably up to something, but he knocked once more just to make sure they weren't there. But then Magnus moved on to a much more useful spell, especially in this case: the tracking spell.

Pulling out one of Alec's old shirts, which still smelled like him (he smelled like vanilla), he began the chant, only subconsciously aware of who was watching. It was most definitely strong, so he must be nearby. Then without word or thought, Magnus put his stuff for the spell away, and began to hustle through the NYC streets, and hailed a taxi.

Meanwhile, in the Pandemonium Club, Alec had discovered it was easy to lose yourself. As soon as they walked in, Alec began darting through the crowd, and soon Izzy and Jace were out of sight. He now had no idea what to do, where to go. He could still catch glimpses of Izzy by the door, cautiously looking for him. Jace had probably gone off to find some girl. Izzy slowly brought her gaze up, and looked right at Alec. Alec scurried away as fast as he could, but it was too late. Izzy had seen him and was coming.

So Alec decided to get a little risky, and went to the one place he never dreamed he would: the bar. Fat men and creatures sat there gorging themselves on the sparkly silver dust that made one seem drunk. Izzy whizzed by the bar, not even bothering to look. But knowing she would eventually, Alec began to need another protection. And something to drown out his thoughts of Magnus. Magnus, the only man he would ever love. The boy he wanted so badly to forget, but that forever stayed in his thoughts.

So he grabbed a cup of the powder, and desperately shot it down his throat.

Being a first timer, on any sort of alcohol, this was a bad influence on his behavior. His head began to spin and his legs wobbled beneath him, and he was on his knees. Pulling himself up, Alec grappled with the bar stool and got into a sitting position. With a bit more work, he was able to feel more stable. Panting heavily, he stood up.

He now felt warm and fuzzy, as if nothing else mattered. All he wanted was more and more of the drink. Subconsciously, he grasped another drink and followed the same process. However, this time, it was easier. He didn't feel the world spin as much, just a bit. Feeling light and drunk, Alec wormed his way to the dance floor. He was quite dizzy and spun and spun. The crowd pulled him one way and then another. He eventually landed up at the entrance.

A creature, he was too drunk to tell what it was, winked suggestively at him. _Why not?_ Alec thought. He began to walk slowly; almost prancing over to what he assumed was a female cat-like warlock.

He could only imagine what he looked like, not that he cared. Probably ruffled hair and torn clothes. If Isabelle saw him…..But before finishing his thought, he stumbled on the uneven floorboard and fell against a wall. His shirt caught on the nail, and ripped straight through the buttons. It hung from him, but barely.

The cat-woman reached over to steady him and began to obsessively stroke his chest, just as Isabelle and Jace stumbled through the crowd. They were aghast, and the look on their faces said it.

And that was when Magnus Bane walked in.

**Yep, I left you on a cliffhanger. Sorry this chapter was rather short. The next one will be longer. PLEASE REVIEW! You angel darlings did it last time….WHY NOT NOW? If you offer suggestions, we will take them into consideration. Though, I'm not sure how much more drama this story needs…..Any way, thanks!**

**~Amber and Emma, Emma and Amber**


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus found himself at a bar. He frowned. The image of Alexander choosing to go to a bar wouldn't form in his mind, and that was saying something. Magnus had always had a very…er… "Creative" mind, to put it lightly.

Magnus decided Jace and Isabelle must have dragged him to the club. Alec was probably just moping in the corner. He pushed open the door, and went to find his ex-boyfriend.

Magnus gaped wordlessly. _Who the hell is this, _he thought, _and what did he do with Alexander Lightwood? _The guy who was apparently Alec was being touched by some girl, and was obviously as drunk as she was. She pulled away, smiling seductively, and stroked his face lightly. Alec looked confused, but not really unhappy. Just bewildered. His hair was standing up in wild spikes, like he hadn't brushed it in forever. He leaned back in, oblivious to Magnus' presence.

Magnus couldn't stand it anymore. Sure, Alec was his ex and it wasn't _precisely _his business, but still. Magnus was fairly certain Alec wasn't batting for the other team, at least not when he was sober. Magnus reached out, and firmly yanked Alec back.

Alec blinked up at him- Magnus was a good three inches taller- and Magnus felt his anger shatter. Alec was beautiful, his blue eyes seeming the perfect example of pure innocence. His lightly sketched eyebrows were pushed together, shaped in such a way that touched Magnus' heart. Magnus felt his heart skip beat, and he thanked his lucky stars that alleyway was dark. He would never have been able to end things if he saw Alexander's face.

Magnus took a breath and yanked Alec through the crowd. He scanned the rooms for Isabelle or Jace, preferably Isabelle. She'd be less likely to kill him on sight… though she was pretty protective of Alec as well. All of the Lightwoods defended each other. The only exception Magnus had ever known, in all his many years, was a man named Gideon. But that was all long done and forgotten.

Magnus spotted a blonde head, and grabbed the belonging shoulder. The guy swiveled around and- it wasn't Jace. Magnus sighed and shoved the man, who he now recognized as a werewolf, away and continued looking.

He saw Isabelle then. She was yelling bitchily at Jace, a sight that amused Magnus. It was always good for Golden Boy to get screamed at; perhaps someday it's cool down his ego.

As Magnus neared the pair, he could hear Isabelle's words. "I can't fucking find him! He just vanished into the crowd! I've looked _everywhere-_"

Magnus tapped her shoulder lightly. She spun around, still clearly on war-path. "What-" She began, than froze when she saw Alec.

She cursed violently. Jace groaned and grabbed Alec, who protested wildly. Jace yanked him toward the door, Isabelle trailing him. Magnus sighed dramatically, but followed them, feeling awkward. It was clear neither of the Lightwood siblings- discounting Alexander- wanted him here. Hell, he'd even told Alec that he wouldn't be helping out there little group anymore. And yet, here he was.

Jace went to the curb as soon as he stepped into the night air, his hand still gripping Alec's collar. He stuck out his hand to hail a taxi, while Isabelle bit her lip worriedly beside him. It was strange, Magnus thought. For any other eighteen year old guy, getting drunk would be no big deal. Magnus knew for a fact Isabelle and Jace had been drunk countless times themselves and Alec was the _older _sibling. And yet all three of them, Magnus himself included, were freaking out.

The cab came then, and the Lightwoods siblings rushed in. Magnus moved to follow them, only to be stopped by a very angry looking Jace. "No damn way, Bane. You've screwed up Alec enough for now, don't you think?"

Magnus fixed him with his best glare-it screamed DNAGER ALERT enough to scare away most-, one that had been perfected throughout a few centuries. "I _am_ coming, Lightwood." He said slowly. "Alec and may be over, but I still care. I'm coming because Alec is hurting himself, and _someone _needs to get him to stop."

"I can do that."

"Sucks for you. I can do it better. Now get your ass in that car before it pulls off without us."

Jace found himself in a very, very awkward situation. He was shoved between a very drunk Alec and Magnus, who was staring out the window as if it fascinated him. Jace leaned back in his seat, letting his breathe out slowly. Alec giggled beside him, and attempted to hold his hand.

It would be a very long car ride.

Magnus waited patiently- or as patient as he could ever be- for Alec to be normal again. The boy had passed out as soon as the group had entered the Institute, and had just woken about five minutes ago. Magnus had been quite prepared to just waltz in there and shake Alec as soon as he woke up, but the glare Jace had given him and Isabelle's warning had told him he should probably wait.

Finally, Magnus cracked the door open and peeked in. Alexander was sitting on the edge of his bed, his feet firmly on the ground. His head was down, his chin resting on his chest. His hair was falling on his cheekbones in such a delicate way that made Magnus almost lose it. His face was as very pale, even for Alec, which was saying something. Up near his cheekbones, there was a bright splash of red on each side of his face.

And he was silently crying, tears sliding down his beautiful face.

Magnus walked quietly in, and Alec didn't look up. Magnus knelt in front of him.

Alec sucked in his breathe, jerking back on his bed. "Magnus?" He choked. "What are you doing here?"

Magnus stood up abruptly. Alec followed suit, questions continuing to run across his face.

Magnus grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, hard, once. "What the _hell _were you thinking, Alexander!"

Alec didn't seem to be able to look into Magnus' eyes. He bit his lip, just like Isabelle had been doing. _Must be a Lightwood thing. _"You shouldn't be here," he said quietly.

"Magnus turned his voice icy. "What. Were. You. Thinking."

"I-" Alec closed his eyes for a few seconds, before opening them and continuing. "I needed to focus. I couldn't think of anything but…" He swallowed, and Magnus understood the unsaid ending. _I couldn't think of anything but __**you**__. _"And I couldn't stop. I tried so hard, but when I was in pain, physical pain… It helped blind out the emotions."

Magnus removed his hands slowly from Alec's shoulders. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch the boy's face, and remove the hurt that was so clear in his blue eyes. But he understood he couldn't. He shoved his hands into his pockets, letting his thumbs dangle out.

He didn't say anything for some moments, and neither did Alec. An uncomfortable silence fell upon them. Magnus finally cleared his throat. "You're an idiot."

Alec's shoulder's hunched together. "I know," He said, his voice miserably soft. "Believe me, I know."

_Oh shit, _Magnus thought. He'd meant to show Alec how stupid he was being and then, in Magnus' mind, Alec would've realized his mistake stop. Instead, he'd probably only made things even worse. "Alexander-" _Alec…_ "Alec. I just meant…"

"I know," Alec said, with more force this time. "I get it, alright? My whole life has been nothing but mistake after mistake. Falling for Jace, being a monster to Clary, being too weak to come out until I thought I was going to _die_ in twenty-four hours, allowing Sebastian to murder my little brother while I left him there, letting Jace stay alone on that rooftop, talking to Camille about your past, betraying you. I'm not as good a fighter or as even near as good-looking as Jace and Isabelle, I'm not a good son-my father practically hates me-, I hadn't killed a demon until Alicante, when I was _eighteen years old_… I really, really get it. So if that's what you're here to tell me, Magnus Bane, that I'm a worthless fool… I already know."

Magnus stepped forwards. He was a reasonably tolerant person. He could deal with someone barfing at his party, or a forgotten call. He could deal with rude comments; he could deal with bitches hitting on him. He may not be _nice, _but he was tolerant of a lot.

_I am not, however, tolerant of someone completely dissing the boy I love_, Magnus thought. _That is so not cool._

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood," Magnus said slowly. His mind's eye flashed back to the last, and first, time he'd used Alec's full name. _I love you… not that it changes anything. _"You _are _an idiot… If you believe a word you just said. You are the opposite of worthless; you're worth everything. With the sole exception of the Camille thing, everything you named was not your fault. Max was not your fault, everyone fell for his trick. Falling in love isn't an option, and that made you jealous with Clary. You came out in the bravest way possible. Everyone else left Jace, and that was because Sebastian was a dead. There was no way for you to know he'd become a blonde zombie." Alec made a choking noise in the back of his throat, but Magnus continued on. "You didn't kill a demon because instead of killing, you were busy keeping your family from being killed. Your father does not hate you, but if he did, that wouldn't be your problem or fault. And you're an excellent fighter."

He took a breath. "Was that everything?"

Alec looked up at him, his mouth slightly open. "I…"

"Actually, there was one more. How you look. Just because you don't flaunt it like your siblings doesn't mean you're not _absolutely gorgeous. _You are beautiful, like it or not, accept it or not. The fact that you don't flaunt it just makes it cuter. Okay? So don't ever let me hear you say something like that again."

Alec's eyes finally met Magnus', and they clicked like puzzle pieces. Magnus knew it then. Alec had screwed up, he had majorly screwed up. And yet he was still Magnus' one, the one he loved. This wasn't the fling kind of love. This was the forever type.

Forever.

**Some Reasons Why to Review**

**You can get a say in what happens next. **I promise nothing, but your ideas will be taken into consideration. If we really like it, it might happen. And if it does, you'll be acknowledged at the beginning of the chapter.

**Grammar & Spelling.** I may not be a grammar Nazi, but god do I hate it when there are obvious grammatical and spelling errors in ff's. If you see any, even if you're reading this a year from now, please say so.

**Chapters come quicker.** Guilt works well.

**Feedback for general stuff.** Like, if everyone hates Alec being un-confident (if so, then why are you reading this? But whatever, just an example), then we can try and put less of it.

**Golden rule. **"Do to others as you want them to do to you," (or something like that). C'mon, try and tell me you hate reviews. Please.

**Makes us happy.**


End file.
